It’s the Little Things That Matter

I started an intentional gratitude practice about 15 years ago. I asked a friend if she’d like to be my “gratitude partner."

We began daily email exchanges to the other, simply listing all the people, events and things in our lives that we felt grateful for that day.

We occasionally miss a day. And some days we have just one or two items on our lists. Most days, though, we send each other five to ten things we're grateful for at the end of the day. For me, they can range from small kindnesses by my husband, a friend or neighbor, a short exchange with a barista or merchant that brightens my mood or a thought-provoking podcast. Often it's the wildlife I encounter on my walks. It has strengthened the bond between my friend and I. We know and trust each other much more now. And so we even include some of the challenges that remind us of life lessons we must learn again.
 

Beyond the benefit to my friendship, I believe this practice gradually changed my outlook on life. I have a new way of seeing the world and, perhaps more important, a new way to view my life. The daily reminder to focus on what I'm grateful for has made it easier to find and appreciate positive things -- even the smallest things. I no longer dwell as much or as long on negative experiences, which, of course, still occur regularly. In scientific terms, the good stuff just seems to crowd out the bad stuff.
 
Last weekend, my husband and I took a long walk in an historic cemetery near us. I was getting a bit weary and wanted to take the quick route back down to the gate. He suggested that, instead, we pass by a pond where we often see waterfowl. We were scouring the shoreline for birds when we noticed a woman on the path near us. She was craning her neck to look high up a very tall eucalyptus tree. We smiled at her and she said she’d just seen a pair of bald eagles building a nest!
 
All of a sudden, a huge eagle flew overhead, grasping twigs in its talons. Then it made its way deep into the foliage to its massive nest. We were awestruck! I had never seen a bald eagle in my hometown of Oakland! I felt profoundly blessed.
 

Some days, it’s less dramatic experiences I feel thankful for -- a child’s timid smile as I pass by or someone walking a cat in a harness, which always makes me smile. Or my own kitty purring quietly in my lap. Life's little treasures are easy to miss when you're not paying attention.

Thank you for reading this post.