Time to Rescue Yours Truly
I just heard about the CEO of a small nonprofit who took a month off recently due to burnout. She'd been hospitalized before because of work stress.
Back at work and starting to feel overwhelmed again, she doesn’t see a way out and seems ready to, once again, sacrifice her health for “the cause.”
Unfortunately, I hear too many stories like this. To me, this cause of nonprofit leader burnout feels especially common and pernicious. It's often called “Savior Complex.”
This post and the next are meant for anyone concerned about nonprofit burnout. Today's post, Part 1, offers concrete ways Executive Directors and CEOs can prevent their own burnout. Part 2 will be on the strategies nonprofit leaders can employ to ensure their employees don’t burn out and leave.
Understanding Savior Complex
Wikipedia defines “Savior Complex” as: “An attitude and demeanor in which a person believes they are responsible for assisting other people .… A person with the complex will usually make an attempt to assist or continue to assist even if they are not helpful or are detrimental to the situation, others, or themselves."
Savior Complex is a tough nut to crack. Also called "Messiah Complex" and "White Knight Syndrome", it describes people who:
Get their sense of purpose from helping others
Have trouble saying "no" to others
Have trouble setting boundaries on their time and energy
Are attracted to "damaged" people
Burn out from trying to fix or rescue others
Psychologists have found Savior Complex to be associated with having assumed adult responsibilities as a child, such as caring for a sick parent or sibling.
I get it. A recovering workaholic who has suffered serious burnout twice, I understand the compulsion to continue working beyond what's healthy or truly necessary. I also feel the pull to see myself as helpful to others, as do all coaches, teachers and likely everyone working or volunteering in the social sector. But I've learned the hard way that I need to put on my own oxygen mask first. I hope the following information is useful to you and your colleagues.
Tips to Combat Rescuer & Workaholic Behaviors
Organizational culture change starts at the top. Your employees get their cues on expected work behaviors from you, their leader. Model the change you want to see -- walk the talk.
As the head honcho, you must honestly examine your workaholic and/or rescuer tendencies. Ask yourself:
Do you tend to put your clients' or organization's or others' needs ahead of your own?
Do you wear your work overwhelm or exhaustion as a badge of honor?
Do you minimize or rationalize physical or mental health symptoms as “the cost of doing the work you love” or “the work the world needs”?
Do you step up because you believe you’re the only one who can do a job?
Are you always the first person at work and the last one to leave?
Do you regularly put in over 50 hours of work a week?
Do you tend to take work on vacation?
Does your family complain you work too much?
Have you taken time off due to severe stress?
Do you put off seeing a health care provider about symptoms of chronic stress?
If yes to most of the above questions, it's time to get serious about your well-being. Assess your stress level and symptoms of burnout. Add more effective DAILY stress management activities, such as physical exercise, sleep hygiene and mindfulness. Re-examine your priorities and reflect on whether you're sacrificing too much for your work.
Other Ways to Reduce Executive Stress
Consider the pros and cons of hiring an executive assistant to take mundane administrative tasks off your plate.
Hire a leadership coach to: provide confidential 1:1 support and validation, help you clarify your priorities, hold you accountable for staying in alignment with your goals and values and offer feedback on what’s realistic and what’s not.
Identify trusted peers to share candidly with and to get support from. Consider joining or creating a support group with other nonprofit execs to combat stress, share solutions and avoid isolation.
·Recognize when to say no to more work, given available organizational resources. If you don’t, staff will leave rather than continue to “go the extra mile.” An option: consider narrowing your organization’s scope and instead focus on getting excellent results.
Reflect and decide whether it's time to move on; if yes, make a plan to do so before you’re toast.
A Note to Nonprofit Board Members
As the boss of your group’s executive director, it’s your responsibility to help prevent their burnout (and departure) by checking in regularly with them and avoiding undue pressure on them.
When you hire a new leader of color, the board -- along with existing staff leaders – must be prepared to honestly assess and proactively address the organization’s systemic inequities – a well-known source of make-it-or-break-it stress on BIPOC leaders.
A recent nonprofit management student shared in class that when she accepted an ED role, she insisted that her board prove their commitment to increasing the diversity of its members to better reflect the group’s clients.
Moreover, boards must avoid over-prioritizing growth at the risk of destabilizing a nonprofit and overtaxing its staff, leading to burnout.
During strategic planning this year, an executive director pushed back against her board’s desire to continually “scale” the organization. She pointed out that, over the past 5 years, the group had significantly expanded its geographic reach, program scope and budget. She said it was now time to focus on stabilizing staff and strengthening systems to ensure sustainability. Without saying it directly, she made it clear she might have to go if they didn’t listen, which they ultimately did.
See further tips to assess your burnout risk in “Denial Can Be Deadly” and also evidence-based stress management techniques in “Stress vs. Stressors, Explained.”
If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?